Two stars were born after a video of a giant snapping turtle enjoying an afternoon out on the Chicago River recently went viral.
The first, of course, is “Chonkosaurus” himself. The second? The Chicago accent of the kayaker who captured the creature on film.
“Look this guy,” says Joey Santore, in a thick Chicago twang. “We got a picture of this most beautiful sight. Look at the size of that [expletive] thing.”
“Look at that beast,” Santore continues, in the video posted to Twitter earlier this month. “Hey, how ya doin’, guy? You look good! You’re healthy!” Santore says to the turtle, before dropping his phone upside down.
Luckily, Santore recovers his phone, and the video — and commentary — continues.
“Holy hell,” Santore gushes. “I’m real proud of you. You’ve been eating healthy. You ever hear of liquid salad? We’ve been doing that. Al does that.”
Another voice in the video — presumably, Al’s — responds by saying the snapper appears “thick but strong.”
The video ends with Santore making a suggestion. “We should take him out to eat,” he says.
Dozens of replies on social media were quick to point out the hilarious — and obviously Chicago-sounding — audio.
“I’m from Chicago and these are the most Chicago sounding people I’ve ever heard in my life,” one post read.
Santore shared the video with NBC Chicago, where the conversation continued.
“Those Chicago accents are killing me,” one commenter wrote.
“Literally can’t get more Chicago than this,” another said.
“Lol, can’t get more Chicago then this commentary!!” says another post that received dozens of likes. “It’s DA Chicago City snapper!!
Chris Anchor, a wildlife biologist with the Forest Preserve District of Cook County, said while snapping turtles aren’t uncommon in the Chicago River, the sight spotted by Santore is actually quite rare.
“What is uncommon is that a turtle of this size is actually observed,” Anchor said. “These turtles live on the bottom of the river. And unlike a painted turtle or red-eared slider, which are very commonly seen basking on rocks and whatnot, snapping turtles are almost never seen. They are only found out of the water right after hibernation, which is what I think was going on with this individual, or when they emerge from the water to lay eggs, and that typically occurs in our area during the month of June. So my guess is that this animal had crawled out of the river to try and gather as much heat as it could in the sunshine.”
As for the size, well, that is also not as common.
“It’s a very large individual,” Anchor said. “Without actually having hands on it I can’t tell you exactly how big it was. My guess is that it’s something in the 40 Palm class, which would put it at a very mature, very large snapping turtle. Typically we’ll handle a dozen or so individuals of that size a year in this part of the of the Chicagoland region. Rarely do they get 50-60 pounds. That’s a totally different class animal.”
Those who have seen the video know the big question asked by Santore surrounds the turtles eating habits.
As it turns out, Anchor said it will eat just about anything.
“So turtles this big will consume anything they can get their mouth around,” he said.
Experts recommend anyone who does witness a snapping turtle does not disturb it or try to capture it, but to instead do what Santore did.
“Enjoy it. Leave it alone,” Anchor said.
In other words — you might not want to take it to dinner after all.
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